Today rivals one of the longest and toughest days yet....
The day began on a positive note as I quickly stopped by Starbucks, my new best friend. I decided I needed ammunition for the long Monday that awaited and nothing less than a Venti would do. Little did I know, ordering a dozen Ventis wouldn't have prepared me for the battles that awaited.
They must have snuck one shot of , "Please, take advantage of me as much as possible" and another of "attitude" into my order this morning. With this week being a three day school week, WCHS might as well have done the teachers a favor and canceled classes for the whole week. Grades are cut off on Wednesday, which should put the fear of God in some of my kids considering the fact that their grades have led them to believe that there are no other letters in the alphabet besides "D" and "F". Yet somehow, they are more calm than I am...irony at its finest.
One of the star basketball players was just added to my caseload last week and I am now to solve the predicament of what to do with his grades. Essentially, I was told it is up to me to decide whether to pass or fail him. Of course what I should be saying is it is really up to him and the work that he wants to do, or doesn't for that matter. This is the same student that took it upon himself to write "Whos the man?!" all over each of my white boards. I did not hesitate to remind him that he will no longer be "the man" if the is cheering for his team from the bleachers. That quickly humbled him; sadly its effects faded after a mere 2 minutes. However, somehow, the arrow seems to point heavily to me instead; I am to decide his fate. I know I shouldn't break my back for a child not willing to work, but if someone could only tell me how to gracefully sit back and watch my student fail, I might have an alternative. Until then, I shed tears for students that probably aren't even shedding tears for their own self-inflicted academic demise. After last week, a week in which I wrote not one, but 3 IEPS, and a meeting to accompany each, as well as a seminar and an observation by my supervisor, I was ready for this short week. If only I had known...
Another student, A, decided that last night was the perfect time to call me for help on a paper. When I did not pick up, she decided it was essential that she call 4 more times. After providing a few instructions late Sunday, I informed her that we would edit the rest tomorrow. So today, when she simply didn't feel like working, it was suddenly my fault that I did not help last night....funny that the blame conveniently seems to fall on everyone but the students. Of course being the intervention specialist, I am supposed to be the miracle worker. It must be a rude awakening for the students as I inform them that I will not work harder for them than they are willing to work for themselves. Until they grasp this concept, I except that I will continue to be frustrated and overwhelmed as I seek a balance of being their advocate and teacher, verses being an enabler of their bad habits. So today, on the evening of one of the longest school days of the year, I vow to be an advocate, not an enabler for the students that I have grown to love so much. What this means, I do not yet know, but only time can tell!
Tired and begging the week to end soon,
Ms. Phillips
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