Today I woke up and got to school early, ready to tackle anything. My high hopes were dashed as not more than 1 period into the day, I had 2 of my 15 kids absent. I now understand why absences were so frowned upon growing up.
Today was the day, the day that I could finally stop burying myself alive with boxes, tables, and desks that I hope to rid the classroom of. The moment that Worthington City Schools employees pulled up to load up my classroom entryway of boxes, my stress level began to decline by the second. The space began to look less like that of a former, retired, teacher, and more like that of a new, excited, hopeful, and optimistic teacher.
The excited smile quickly turned into contagious laugh, though to some extent, regrettably so. After having my junior and senior English students completed an employment survey, I had my students compute there results into a score. After struggled attempts to find his score, one of my students loudly asked, "how can I score?!" With less than a moment to think and react, my reflexes failed me at a pivital moment. Another student, without hesitation, responded, "Well...you go to a bar, and then you find a hot girl, and then...the rest is up to you." Speechless....Needless to say, there is never a dull moment teaching high school.
I ended the day, finishing strong, by getting through to a student, who up to this point, has been unresponsive to my efforts. A little victory, which led to another, as my excitement allowed my productivity to continue. I completed all of my lesson plans and for the first time since I was hired, I left school with no work...yet another little victory! Relieved and relaxed, I have decided that I should do this at least once each week!
Until the dismissal bell rings,
Ms. Phillips
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
I'd like to report a missing teacher...
Today consisted of a lot of firsts; the first day (since school started) that my alarm went off and it was actually painful to get out of bed, the first fire alarm conveniently on the first day that my advisor from Worthington came to visit, my first migraine of the year, my first time being reported as a missing teacher....
I woke up not feeling well but took the time to convince myself that I would be just fine and simply needed to wake up. After about 3 hours into the day, I accepted the fact that this was not going to take place, no matter how hard I tried. Pushing my headache aside, I tried to focus on the lessons I had spent the majority of yesterday pulling together. Excited and nervous for the first full week classes, I wanted to hit the ground running. Run I did...until second period when we had our "unplanned", yet announced, fire drill. Conveniently, one of the big wigs at Worthignton City Schools paid a visit at the exact moment the alarm sounded. She pulled up to my trailer, I mean modular, in her BMW convertible and walked into the classroom to be met by an entryway of junk that I had accumulated over the past week of my cleaning spree. Needless to say, I was a bit embarrassed, as this was as far as she came into the modular. I wanted to to inform her that the actual classroom was orderly, clean, and well planned out...oh well, I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end, seeing as she didn't even stay long enough to watch me teach.
After a hectic morning, my assistant convinced me to eat in the teachers lounge, something I never do because I have typically worked though my lunch. While will one day explain the jelly stains that are likely to appear on graded papers due to my multi-tasking. I know that spending time building relationships with other staff is important however, so I went. Not 5 minutes after I sat down to eat, the bell rang. Again, I somehow let my assistant again convince me to finish my lunch before heading back to the classroom, as I only had one senior who was in my room that period for a study hall. I should have known better...only seconds after I finished saying, "You're right...he will be fine for 2 minutes..." I saw him standing at the door of the teachers lounge waiving at me and looking perplexed. Upon opening the door, he informed me that now that he had found me, he would go back to the office to let them know that I wasn't missing after all.....
Lack of consistency for kids with disabilities is never a good plan, and why I decided to test that theory today, I have yet to figure remember. Another lesson learned and noted.
On a more positive note, my student that infamous for her bluntness and attitude informed me ever so honestly, "I think I decided....I like you...." Mental note taken!
This just in: I will most likely be receiving yet another student. I was also told that I am going to have to re-write 2 more IEPs within the next 3 weeks. At this point, the school psychologist looked at me to confirm, "so this is your first year of teaching?! Wow, you've taken on a lot!" When I responded, "Yea, I'm a bit overwhelmed at this point", her response was, "Good...you should be!" Hmmmm...not comforting for a person (with a migraine) on the brink of tears. Frankly though, I was merely impressed the waterworks held out this long!
One step at a time, embrace the little victories, take the time to know and love the students and never fail to remind yourself that this is where God wants you, nowhere else in the WORLD but here, in this moment....these are my daily reminders to myself, the things that carry me through the days when I can't seem to carry myself.
Tired and already anticipating the long weekend,
Ms. Phillips
I woke up not feeling well but took the time to convince myself that I would be just fine and simply needed to wake up. After about 3 hours into the day, I accepted the fact that this was not going to take place, no matter how hard I tried. Pushing my headache aside, I tried to focus on the lessons I had spent the majority of yesterday pulling together. Excited and nervous for the first full week classes, I wanted to hit the ground running. Run I did...until second period when we had our "unplanned", yet announced, fire drill. Conveniently, one of the big wigs at Worthignton City Schools paid a visit at the exact moment the alarm sounded. She pulled up to my trailer, I mean modular, in her BMW convertible and walked into the classroom to be met by an entryway of junk that I had accumulated over the past week of my cleaning spree. Needless to say, I was a bit embarrassed, as this was as far as she came into the modular. I wanted to to inform her that the actual classroom was orderly, clean, and well planned out...oh well, I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end, seeing as she didn't even stay long enough to watch me teach.
After a hectic morning, my assistant convinced me to eat in the teachers lounge, something I never do because I have typically worked though my lunch. While will one day explain the jelly stains that are likely to appear on graded papers due to my multi-tasking. I know that spending time building relationships with other staff is important however, so I went. Not 5 minutes after I sat down to eat, the bell rang. Again, I somehow let my assistant again convince me to finish my lunch before heading back to the classroom, as I only had one senior who was in my room that period for a study hall. I should have known better...only seconds after I finished saying, "You're right...he will be fine for 2 minutes..." I saw him standing at the door of the teachers lounge waiving at me and looking perplexed. Upon opening the door, he informed me that now that he had found me, he would go back to the office to let them know that I wasn't missing after all.....
Lack of consistency for kids with disabilities is never a good plan, and why I decided to test that theory today, I have yet to figure remember. Another lesson learned and noted.
On a more positive note, my student that infamous for her bluntness and attitude informed me ever so honestly, "I think I decided....I like you...." Mental note taken!
This just in: I will most likely be receiving yet another student. I was also told that I am going to have to re-write 2 more IEPs within the next 3 weeks. At this point, the school psychologist looked at me to confirm, "so this is your first year of teaching?! Wow, you've taken on a lot!" When I responded, "Yea, I'm a bit overwhelmed at this point", her response was, "Good...you should be!" Hmmmm...not comforting for a person (with a migraine) on the brink of tears. Frankly though, I was merely impressed the waterworks held out this long!
One step at a time, embrace the little victories, take the time to know and love the students and never fail to remind yourself that this is where God wants you, nowhere else in the WORLD but here, in this moment....these are my daily reminders to myself, the things that carry me through the days when I can't seem to carry myself.
Tired and already anticipating the long weekend,
Ms. Phillips
Friday, August 27, 2010
Life is like a box of chocolates...
Shortly after the bell rang, signaling the official start of the weekend (or so I hoped), I found myself sifting through my secret stash of chocolate in the desk drawer, a recipe for disaster and a sure sign of a long day...
The day began with a Venti Starbucks, promising to bring energy for the day that awaited me. Unfortunately, I ordered one shot of caffeine because Starbucks does not offer a shot of patience or perspective. Up to this point I have been more than calm considering the endless to-do list that constantly awaits me. Today, however, the weight of the past few weeks seemed to hit me at once. Though still trying to maintain perspective, I suddenly realized that after being asked by many, "How do you get it all done?", my honest thought was, "I haven't gotten there, I'll keep you posted".
This week was full of expressing learning expectations and assessing students. Next week begins the academic lessons, which I have yet to determine. With bookshelves of hundreds upon hundreds of books (and just think...this is after I rid the room of 10+ boxes of books and resources that were outdated) I should be thankful, but instead am beyond overwhelmed as I swim through the sea of books that I have no time to look through.
One of my three female students decided that today was the day she was going to tell me how things were going to go within the classroom. As she informed me, ever so kindly of course, that I was going to let her leave the class and take care of some things, I quickly informed her that despite her confidence, I planned to give her a run for her money. Ms. Attitude had met her red-headed match. Of course, she was not about to allow me to challenge her in front of her peers. Yes, ladies and gents, I had my first blood-curdling, hands shaking, I-need -a-breather-or-I'm -going-to-say-something-I-regret, teacher moment. I had passed the point of no return, the point where "the look" would remedy the situation. After stepping out of the classroom for a moment, I re-entered having reminded myself that this is all a part of the journey which I have committed myself to. Rather than cry, I laughed it off, convincing myself that it was moments like this that made the day more entertaining.
...So, 2+ pieces of chocolate, 3 hours of after-school cleaning, and 5 more filled boxes of outdated materials later, my first weekend as a teacher began!
Ready for Rest,
Ms. Phillips
The day began with a Venti Starbucks, promising to bring energy for the day that awaited me. Unfortunately, I ordered one shot of caffeine because Starbucks does not offer a shot of patience or perspective. Up to this point I have been more than calm considering the endless to-do list that constantly awaits me. Today, however, the weight of the past few weeks seemed to hit me at once. Though still trying to maintain perspective, I suddenly realized that after being asked by many, "How do you get it all done?", my honest thought was, "I haven't gotten there, I'll keep you posted".
This week was full of expressing learning expectations and assessing students. Next week begins the academic lessons, which I have yet to determine. With bookshelves of hundreds upon hundreds of books (and just think...this is after I rid the room of 10+ boxes of books and resources that were outdated) I should be thankful, but instead am beyond overwhelmed as I swim through the sea of books that I have no time to look through.
One of my three female students decided that today was the day she was going to tell me how things were going to go within the classroom. As she informed me, ever so kindly of course, that I was going to let her leave the class and take care of some things, I quickly informed her that despite her confidence, I planned to give her a run for her money. Ms. Attitude had met her red-headed match. Of course, she was not about to allow me to challenge her in front of her peers. Yes, ladies and gents, I had my first blood-curdling, hands shaking, I-need -a-breather-or-I'm -going-to-say-something-I-regret, teacher moment. I had passed the point of no return, the point where "the look" would remedy the situation. After stepping out of the classroom for a moment, I re-entered having reminded myself that this is all a part of the journey which I have committed myself to. Rather than cry, I laughed it off, convincing myself that it was moments like this that made the day more entertaining.
...So, 2+ pieces of chocolate, 3 hours of after-school cleaning, and 5 more filled boxes of outdated materials later, my first weekend as a teacher began!
Ready for Rest,
Ms. Phillips
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Passed the Test
Today, for a split second, I saw bits and pieces of the wall begin to fall. Many of my students have a built-in defense mechanism that protects them from the hurt and embarrassment that always manages to find them in their weaknesses. These students have had years of practice playing defense, pushing away all of those who dare come close enough to reach out toward them.
I am beginning to be able to look past all of the "helpful hints", or preconceived expectations, that fellow and former teachers have passed onto me in regards to certain students. Thankfully, when it comes to minute things such as that, my memory is fleeting. I try to erase what little I do remember and base my impressions of the students off of my relationship with them. I say impressions rather than judgements, because it became clear to me, as I assessed my students current ability levels in math and reading today, that they were embarrassed, as if waiting for me to rebuke their failed attempts at success. Wow, was I caught off guard as I placed myself in their shoes. Not only are 4 of my students incoming freshman, entering into the harsh jungle that is better known as high school, but they are entering in, fully aware that they are far behind their fellow newcomers. As one student put it, being a freshman sucks, "because you kind of at the bottom of the food chain". This came from the journal of a student that I was told would never perform or even take part within the classroom...ironic isn't it?! My goal for the year is to figure out what makes him tick, despite the fact that every one of his past teachers/ doctors/ etc. is convinced that he will not produce work, nor will he succeed, but rather, I could expect to be an innocent bi-standered as he floats through my class. Luckily, I'm stubborn and often don't care what other people seem to think. I hope that this is the one occasion in which that stubbornness works for, rather than against me!
Today we had Chapel; where we as a school, as a community of staff and students come together as believers to worship and learn. I was humbled as I was surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, many of whom were students that blew my expectations of this experience away. We sang a song which echoed the words, "in this place, You are here". I have never been more convinced of God's presence. Surrounded by teachers and students, I no longer felt alone, but supported and uplifted. I was encouraged by the evident love for God that many of the high schoolers reflected; while at the same time, aware that many of the students were more lost, confused, and alone than ever before. The talk encouraged us not to put on the "stain" or mask of God simply because we are a part of a Christian school...what a wonderful challenge not only for the students, but for me as an educator too. What would it look like if I truly loved my students and poured into them as God pours into me?! I can only pray that I may now teach with this in mind.
On a less serious note, however, the IT guys are coming tomorrow to help me move around my room, move computers, desks, and tables to make it more user friendly and welcoming. This is about as close to TLC's Clean Sweep as I get...so I'll take it! Besides, today I was at school long enough that I got to make friends with the janitor. He and the secretary will become my new best friends at the school, I am sure! Most people don't ever get to meet him because they leave shortly after the bell rings....I considered meeting him one of my small victories for the day. That and the fact that my printer was fixed, as well as the fact that I finally seemed to pass the student's test and measured up. The girls like the fact that they can talk about purses and boys with me, while the boys seem to love that I like the Office and Chipotle. Let's see how much their decisions are swayed when we begin to get into actual content next week. But seriously, I really am blessed to have to chance to get to know students better than a lot of teachers, due to my job description.
That being said, I really do love this age group. They are honest to a fault with me most days, which I respect much more than I ever thought I would. The fact that I look forward to seeing the kids and I have only had them for three days, speaks quite highly for them. Though my to-do list never seems to dwindle and I seem to be at work much more than I am at home, when I do come home, I am happy knowing I have done my job to my fullest ability, and held nothing back. This happiness lends a helping hand to the exhaustion, emotions, and anxiety that kick in during times of weakness. Though occasionally discouraged by the fact that students are lost, confused, and struggling with content much below their grade level, I have to believe that we will encounter little victories along the way that will serve as reminders that it is all worth the fight and that together, we can progress toward our goals...which is the true test!
With nearly 1 week under then belt,
Ms. Phillips
I am beginning to be able to look past all of the "helpful hints", or preconceived expectations, that fellow and former teachers have passed onto me in regards to certain students. Thankfully, when it comes to minute things such as that, my memory is fleeting. I try to erase what little I do remember and base my impressions of the students off of my relationship with them. I say impressions rather than judgements, because it became clear to me, as I assessed my students current ability levels in math and reading today, that they were embarrassed, as if waiting for me to rebuke their failed attempts at success. Wow, was I caught off guard as I placed myself in their shoes. Not only are 4 of my students incoming freshman, entering into the harsh jungle that is better known as high school, but they are entering in, fully aware that they are far behind their fellow newcomers. As one student put it, being a freshman sucks, "because you kind of at the bottom of the food chain". This came from the journal of a student that I was told would never perform or even take part within the classroom...ironic isn't it?! My goal for the year is to figure out what makes him tick, despite the fact that every one of his past teachers/ doctors/ etc. is convinced that he will not produce work, nor will he succeed, but rather, I could expect to be an innocent bi-standered as he floats through my class. Luckily, I'm stubborn and often don't care what other people seem to think. I hope that this is the one occasion in which that stubbornness works for, rather than against me!
Today we had Chapel; where we as a school, as a community of staff and students come together as believers to worship and learn. I was humbled as I was surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, many of whom were students that blew my expectations of this experience away. We sang a song which echoed the words, "in this place, You are here". I have never been more convinced of God's presence. Surrounded by teachers and students, I no longer felt alone, but supported and uplifted. I was encouraged by the evident love for God that many of the high schoolers reflected; while at the same time, aware that many of the students were more lost, confused, and alone than ever before. The talk encouraged us not to put on the "stain" or mask of God simply because we are a part of a Christian school...what a wonderful challenge not only for the students, but for me as an educator too. What would it look like if I truly loved my students and poured into them as God pours into me?! I can only pray that I may now teach with this in mind.
On a less serious note, however, the IT guys are coming tomorrow to help me move around my room, move computers, desks, and tables to make it more user friendly and welcoming. This is about as close to TLC's Clean Sweep as I get...so I'll take it! Besides, today I was at school long enough that I got to make friends with the janitor. He and the secretary will become my new best friends at the school, I am sure! Most people don't ever get to meet him because they leave shortly after the bell rings....I considered meeting him one of my small victories for the day. That and the fact that my printer was fixed, as well as the fact that I finally seemed to pass the student's test and measured up. The girls like the fact that they can talk about purses and boys with me, while the boys seem to love that I like the Office and Chipotle. Let's see how much their decisions are swayed when we begin to get into actual content next week. But seriously, I really am blessed to have to chance to get to know students better than a lot of teachers, due to my job description.
That being said, I really do love this age group. They are honest to a fault with me most days, which I respect much more than I ever thought I would. The fact that I look forward to seeing the kids and I have only had them for three days, speaks quite highly for them. Though my to-do list never seems to dwindle and I seem to be at work much more than I am at home, when I do come home, I am happy knowing I have done my job to my fullest ability, and held nothing back. This happiness lends a helping hand to the exhaustion, emotions, and anxiety that kick in during times of weakness. Though occasionally discouraged by the fact that students are lost, confused, and struggling with content much below their grade level, I have to believe that we will encounter little victories along the way that will serve as reminders that it is all worth the fight and that together, we can progress toward our goals...which is the true test!
With nearly 1 week under then belt,
Ms. Phillips
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Buried Alive
As I sit here smelling the aroma of brownies, I can't help but laugh. All this in order to celebrate the birthday of the one student who has already managed to make me use "the look" on day 2...pretty impressive really! In some sense, I suppose I should thank her; she keeps me sharp as I have to fire back as quick if not quicker than her shots that are about as far from subtle the East is from the West. This, the same girl that drilled me with questions, exclaiming that she was had to decide if me she liked me before anything else could occur within the classroom. She'll have to forgive me when I did not appease her upon her inquiry as to where I lived! For this reason, I am actually somewhat rejoicing in the fact that the ratio of my students, 13-2, favors the boys. Drama, now that is one department I don't care to entertain in my classroom!
Little known fact: There is such as thing as rubber bands drying out and paperclips rusting...oh, and apparently you can never have too many floppy disks. I have vowed that each day I will clean out a new drawer/ cabinet/ file. You're probably thinking, great idea Shannon, you will be done cleaning before you know it, right?! Well, that is where you would be wrong. After two weeks of intense cleaning, I have only managed go through 1/2 (Now, I'm being generous) of the contents my classroom. By signing the contract, I apparently also inherited all of the outdated disks, books, files, and all other outdated teacher resources this side of the Mississippi. If I had only planned ahead, I could have filmed my classroom and probably gotten pity from TLC'S Clean Sweep...oh well, better luck next time.
On another note...I mastered the copy machine today. You laugh, but mastering the art of a perfect copy is a feat in and of itself, especially when working with a machine that is probably about as old as I am. Sadly there was no course in college of how to make the most of you copier, or how to dig yourself out when you are buried alive in your own classroom. I should really look into that.
I originally didn't plan to write every day. However, I make my students write every day, so I felt that it was important that I do the same, at least to some extent. It's a therapy in sorts; especially on days like today when the sun rises as I wake and sets as I drive home from work. Despite the long days and the occasional lonely moments as I look around and think for a split second, "what have I done", at the end of each day, as I pull out of the parking lot and smile, I know that God is smiling back. For some reason or another, I am the one that is supposed to reach these kids... the boy that can't make eye contact he is so anxious around new people, the boy that tries desperately to contribute to a conversation but doesn't know how, the kid who wants to scream I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN, but knows he can't, the student who tries so hard to fight the stereotype so quickly entrusted to him, the student who pushes away because they know you just might be the one person to see past the wall they have so carefully and intentionally built up. So, here is to hoping and praying that for some crazy reason unbeknown st to me, God will allow me to be the one who finally cracks the mystery of the student who everyone else has deemed a hopeless cause, or the student who appears to have it all together but is drowning so fast and simply needs a hand to help him up for air, or the student who simply needs a friend and a teammate. For this reason, today,during out "Meet the Team" activity, I stressed that they were valuable and so were their gifts. Hopefully, this time, the words actually penetrated the surface of their thoughts. Because at the end of the day, they should know... HAVE to to know, I'm the couch who won't hold their hands, but will be right besides them as they cross the finish line that I pray they we will one day discover together.
Ms. Phillips
Little known fact: There is such as thing as rubber bands drying out and paperclips rusting...oh, and apparently you can never have too many floppy disks. I have vowed that each day I will clean out a new drawer/ cabinet/ file. You're probably thinking, great idea Shannon, you will be done cleaning before you know it, right?! Well, that is where you would be wrong. After two weeks of intense cleaning, I have only managed go through 1/2 (Now, I'm being generous) of the contents my classroom. By signing the contract, I apparently also inherited all of the outdated disks, books, files, and all other outdated teacher resources this side of the Mississippi. If I had only planned ahead, I could have filmed my classroom and probably gotten pity from TLC'S Clean Sweep...oh well, better luck next time.
On another note...I mastered the copy machine today. You laugh, but mastering the art of a perfect copy is a feat in and of itself, especially when working with a machine that is probably about as old as I am. Sadly there was no course in college of how to make the most of you copier, or how to dig yourself out when you are buried alive in your own classroom. I should really look into that.
I originally didn't plan to write every day. However, I make my students write every day, so I felt that it was important that I do the same, at least to some extent. It's a therapy in sorts; especially on days like today when the sun rises as I wake and sets as I drive home from work. Despite the long days and the occasional lonely moments as I look around and think for a split second, "what have I done", at the end of each day, as I pull out of the parking lot and smile, I know that God is smiling back. For some reason or another, I am the one that is supposed to reach these kids... the boy that can't make eye contact he is so anxious around new people, the boy that tries desperately to contribute to a conversation but doesn't know how, the kid who wants to scream I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN, but knows he can't, the student who tries so hard to fight the stereotype so quickly entrusted to him, the student who pushes away because they know you just might be the one person to see past the wall they have so carefully and intentionally built up. So, here is to hoping and praying that for some crazy reason unbeknown st to me, God will allow me to be the one who finally cracks the mystery of the student who everyone else has deemed a hopeless cause, or the student who appears to have it all together but is drowning so fast and simply needs a hand to help him up for air, or the student who simply needs a friend and a teammate. For this reason, today,during out "Meet the Team" activity, I stressed that they were valuable and so were their gifts. Hopefully, this time, the words actually penetrated the surface of their thoughts. Because at the end of the day, they should know... HAVE to to know, I'm the couch who won't hold their hands, but will be right besides them as they cross the finish line that I pray they we will one day discover together.
Ms. Phillips
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
New Beginnings
The alarm woke me up from what was more like a nap than an actual night's sleep. I considered it a blessing to get even the smallest bit of sleep considering the day that awaited me. Having lost power last night I was convinced my alarm would lead me stranded this morning...causing me to go down in history as the first teacher to ever sleep through the first day of school!
Thankfully, I woke up with the sun (a term I hope to grow an appreciation for sooner rather than later) and I got ready and got dressed like any other day. But unlike every other day, I couldn't help but wonder what my students would think as they entered into my room. Rather than finding their teacher from last year, 40+ years my senior, they found me, a young teacher that would probably be confused for a student if not for the lanyard hanging from my neck and the letters "Ms" in front of my name. I prayed they couldn't see through the facade that I had so carefully remembered to put on this morning, otherwise they might discover that I am quite possibly, more anxious, self-conscious, and scared then each of them. As it turns out, I was fooling no one...talk about solidarity from day 1!
As the first students rolled into the room, I could feel the excitement and energy building. As soon as I smiled, and they smiled back, I knew that it was going to be OK. Those smiles, the look of relief, that the worst is over and they, like me, were now convinced that this is the start of something great...that makes it all worth while. The endless mound of paperwork I read, stacks of books and cassette tapes I have sifted through (yes cassettes, not CDs or MP3s...those imply production within the last 2 decades), the sleepless nights and busy days all came together and seemed rather minuscule in comparison.
The bells rang and students went and came...15 unique, eccentrict, confused, scared, fun, crazy, students. Though I couldn't help but remember all of the things I had read and heard about each of these students and their various and multiple disabilities, weaknesses, IQ or lack thereof...though that is a huge part of my job...I'm also a social worker, an advocate, a cheerleader, a parent in many cases, and I am the one who gets to help prove they they can achieve, despite the legal document (IEP- Individualized Education Plan....legal term for: follows students through their education and tells what their weaknesses and needs are) that tends to tell the world otherwise. I was excited by the challenge I saw when I looked at each of them. I am fully aware that this will take every bit of energy in my body, thankfully I knew better than to think it was going to require anything less.
Kids say the darnedest things: A student came into class late (promising, on the first day!) as I went over the syllabus; however, another student quickly informed her that it was OK, we were just going over "another one of those syllables". And that ladies and gentleman is why I have a job, and yet also why I plan to keep coming back! Today marks the beginning of a journey in which I will walk hand in hand with 15 wonderful children of God. Though I know I will not see them as such every minute of every day, and my patience may lead me to believe otherwise, I am trusting that God has placed them in my life, and me in theirs for a reason greater than our own and I am excited to learn lessons of my own along the way!
Until later,
Shannon
Thankfully, I woke up with the sun (a term I hope to grow an appreciation for sooner rather than later) and I got ready and got dressed like any other day. But unlike every other day, I couldn't help but wonder what my students would think as they entered into my room. Rather than finding their teacher from last year, 40+ years my senior, they found me, a young teacher that would probably be confused for a student if not for the lanyard hanging from my neck and the letters "Ms" in front of my name. I prayed they couldn't see through the facade that I had so carefully remembered to put on this morning, otherwise they might discover that I am quite possibly, more anxious, self-conscious, and scared then each of them. As it turns out, I was fooling no one...talk about solidarity from day 1!
As the first students rolled into the room, I could feel the excitement and energy building. As soon as I smiled, and they smiled back, I knew that it was going to be OK. Those smiles, the look of relief, that the worst is over and they, like me, were now convinced that this is the start of something great...that makes it all worth while. The endless mound of paperwork I read, stacks of books and cassette tapes I have sifted through (yes cassettes, not CDs or MP3s...those imply production within the last 2 decades), the sleepless nights and busy days all came together and seemed rather minuscule in comparison.
The bells rang and students went and came...15 unique, eccentrict, confused, scared, fun, crazy, students. Though I couldn't help but remember all of the things I had read and heard about each of these students and their various and multiple disabilities, weaknesses, IQ or lack thereof...though that is a huge part of my job...I'm also a social worker, an advocate, a cheerleader, a parent in many cases, and I am the one who gets to help prove they they can achieve, despite the legal document (IEP- Individualized Education Plan....legal term for: follows students through their education and tells what their weaknesses and needs are) that tends to tell the world otherwise. I was excited by the challenge I saw when I looked at each of them. I am fully aware that this will take every bit of energy in my body, thankfully I knew better than to think it was going to require anything less.
Kids say the darnedest things: A student came into class late (promising, on the first day!) as I went over the syllabus; however, another student quickly informed her that it was OK, we were just going over "another one of those syllables". And that ladies and gentleman is why I have a job, and yet also why I plan to keep coming back! Today marks the beginning of a journey in which I will walk hand in hand with 15 wonderful children of God. Though I know I will not see them as such every minute of every day, and my patience may lead me to believe otherwise, I am trusting that God has placed them in my life, and me in theirs for a reason greater than our own and I am excited to learn lessons of my own along the way!
Until later,
Shannon
Monday, August 23, 2010
Awaiting a day 22 years in the making!
One upon a time there was a little girl with curly red hair, freckles, and an imagination that fuelled her every move. She played school into the late hours of the evening, pretending that she was the teacher rather than the pupil. She created class lists and seating charts to prepare for a class that she ever so carefully knit together in her dreams. With the innocence of a child, she could do no wrong and had the world at her fingertips as she paced her classroom within the comfortable and safe wall of what she called home.
Fast forward to a fear full student, walking into her first college class at the University of Dayton. This little girl's imagination had carried her to the doors of Chaminade Hall, where her dream to touch the future would soon become a reality.
Four years later, here I am...no longer that little girl, yet somehow one in the same. No longer imaginary students, but rather a roster of 15 students whom I can only imagine. Story books have been traded for textbooks and novels of all kinds. The wonder and awe, still there, seem to grow by the day as I await the arrival of a day that has been 22 years in the making.
I have decided to create this blog in order to share my trials, tears, train wrecks, and triumphs; all of which are bound to happen as I embark on my first year of teaching. I have been blessed with the opportunity to teach special education at Worthington Christian High School. The summer has had its ups and downs; yet, as always, God has been faithful and has provided a way out of what has been a long and confusing few months. I am now confident that God has lead me to me to this exact place for an amazing adventure!
I have speant the last 2 weeks in my classroom, a structure that many may call a trailer, but we at WCHS lovingly refer to as "the modular". Despite the bitter aftertaste of the word, it actually is a great space. My classroom is long and thin and is essentially broken down into 2 smaller rooms. In one room are computers, work stations, and loads of filing cabinets full of resources that have been collected/ created over the span of 30 years. In the other is my desk, a large work table, and shelves upon shelves of textbooks and novels that have accumulated over the past 30 years. 30 years...the amount of time that the teacher before me spent in the position I now hold. Talk about big shoes to fill...no pressure!
The past few weeks have consisted of many trips to the dumpster and more cleaning than I care to believe is possible. After dozens and dozens of long days and late nights, I finally feel like it is MY CLASSROOM! The dream is finally a reality as I begin to clean out the last of the books whose copyright dates are dated long before my time.
As I prepare for tomorrow, touching up lesson plans, planning the first-day-of-school outfit, and refining my lesson plans, I can't help but smile. Tomorrow, I will look into the eyes of 15 adolescents, as we vow to run this race together. A victory of sorts, yet only the beginning of a journey that is bound to be one of my greatest lessons learned.
Until Tomorrow,
Ms. Phillips
Fast forward to a fear full student, walking into her first college class at the University of Dayton. This little girl's imagination had carried her to the doors of Chaminade Hall, where her dream to touch the future would soon become a reality.
Four years later, here I am...no longer that little girl, yet somehow one in the same. No longer imaginary students, but rather a roster of 15 students whom I can only imagine. Story books have been traded for textbooks and novels of all kinds. The wonder and awe, still there, seem to grow by the day as I await the arrival of a day that has been 22 years in the making.
I have decided to create this blog in order to share my trials, tears, train wrecks, and triumphs; all of which are bound to happen as I embark on my first year of teaching. I have been blessed with the opportunity to teach special education at Worthington Christian High School. The summer has had its ups and downs; yet, as always, God has been faithful and has provided a way out of what has been a long and confusing few months. I am now confident that God has lead me to me to this exact place for an amazing adventure!
I have speant the last 2 weeks in my classroom, a structure that many may call a trailer, but we at WCHS lovingly refer to as "the modular". Despite the bitter aftertaste of the word, it actually is a great space. My classroom is long and thin and is essentially broken down into 2 smaller rooms. In one room are computers, work stations, and loads of filing cabinets full of resources that have been collected/ created over the span of 30 years. In the other is my desk, a large work table, and shelves upon shelves of textbooks and novels that have accumulated over the past 30 years. 30 years...the amount of time that the teacher before me spent in the position I now hold. Talk about big shoes to fill...no pressure!
The past few weeks have consisted of many trips to the dumpster and more cleaning than I care to believe is possible. After dozens and dozens of long days and late nights, I finally feel like it is MY CLASSROOM! The dream is finally a reality as I begin to clean out the last of the books whose copyright dates are dated long before my time.
As I prepare for tomorrow, touching up lesson plans, planning the first-day-of-school outfit, and refining my lesson plans, I can't help but smile. Tomorrow, I will look into the eyes of 15 adolescents, as we vow to run this race together. A victory of sorts, yet only the beginning of a journey that is bound to be one of my greatest lessons learned.
Until Tomorrow,
Ms. Phillips
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