Buried Alive

As I sit here smelling the aroma of brownies, I can't help but laugh.  All this in order to celebrate the birthday of the one student who has already managed to make me use "the look" on day 2...pretty impressive really!  In some sense, I suppose I should thank her; she keeps me sharp as I have to fire back as quick if not quicker than her shots that are about as far from subtle the East is from the West.  This, the same girl that drilled me with questions, exclaiming that she was had to decide if me she liked me before anything else could occur within the classroom.  She'll have to forgive me when I did not appease her upon her inquiry as to where I lived! For this reason, I am actually somewhat rejoicing in the fact that the ratio of my students, 13-2, favors the boys.  Drama, now that is one department I don't care to entertain in my classroom!

Little known fact: There is such as thing as rubber bands drying out and paperclips rusting...oh, and apparently you can never have too many floppy disks.  I have vowed that each day I will clean out a new drawer/ cabinet/ file.  You're probably thinking, great idea Shannon, you will be done cleaning before you know it, right?!  Well, that is where you would be wrong. After two weeks of intense cleaning, I have only managed go through 1/2 (Now, I'm being generous) of the contents my classroom.  By signing the contract, I apparently also inherited all of the outdated disks, books, files, and all other outdated teacher resources this side of the Mississippi.  If I had only planned ahead, I could have filmed my classroom and probably gotten pity from TLC'S Clean Sweep...oh well, better luck next time. 

On another note...I mastered the copy machine today.  You laugh, but mastering the art of a perfect copy is a feat in and of itself, especially when working with a machine that is probably about as old as I am. Sadly there was no course in college of how to make the most of you copier, or how to dig yourself out when you are buried alive in your own classroom.  I should really look into that.

I originally didn't plan to write every day.  However, I make my students write every day, so I felt that it was important that I do the same, at least to some extent.  It's a therapy in sorts; especially on days like today when the sun rises as I wake and sets as I drive home from work.  Despite the long days and the occasional lonely moments as I look around and think for a split second, "what have I done", at the end of each day, as I pull out of the parking lot and smile, I know that God is smiling back.  For some reason or another, I am the one that is supposed to reach these kids... the boy that can't make eye contact he is so anxious around new people, the boy that tries desperately to contribute to a conversation but doesn't know how, the kid who wants to scream I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN, but knows he can't, the student who tries so hard to fight the stereotype so quickly entrusted to him, the student who pushes away because they know you just might be the one person to see past the wall they have so carefully and intentionally built up.  So, here is to hoping and praying that for some crazy reason unbeknown st to me, God will allow me to be the one who finally cracks the mystery of the student who everyone else has deemed a hopeless cause, or the student who appears to have it all together but is drowning so fast and simply needs a hand to help him up for air, or the student who simply needs a friend and a teammate. For this reason, today,during out "Meet the Team" activity, I stressed that they were valuable and so were their gifts.  Hopefully, this time, the words actually penetrated the surface of their thoughts.  Because at the end of the day, they should know... HAVE to to know, I'm the couch who won't hold their hands, but will be right besides them as they cross the finish line that I pray they we will one day discover together.


Ms. Phillips