Today rivals one of the longest and toughest days yet....
The day began on a positive note as I quickly stopped by Starbucks, my new best friend. I decided I needed ammunition for the long Monday that awaited and nothing less than a Venti would do. Little did I know, ordering a dozen Ventis wouldn't have prepared me for the battles that awaited.
They must have snuck one shot of , "Please, take advantage of me as much as possible" and another of "attitude" into my order this morning. With this week being a three day school week, WCHS might as well have done the teachers a favor and canceled classes for the whole week. Grades are cut off on Wednesday, which should put the fear of God in some of my kids considering the fact that their grades have led them to believe that there are no other letters in the alphabet besides "D" and "F". Yet somehow, they are more calm than I am...irony at its finest.
One of the star basketball players was just added to my caseload last week and I am now to solve the predicament of what to do with his grades. Essentially, I was told it is up to me to decide whether to pass or fail him. Of course what I should be saying is it is really up to him and the work that he wants to do, or doesn't for that matter. This is the same student that took it upon himself to write "Whos the man?!" all over each of my white boards. I did not hesitate to remind him that he will no longer be "the man" if the is cheering for his team from the bleachers. That quickly humbled him; sadly its effects faded after a mere 2 minutes. However, somehow, the arrow seems to point heavily to me instead; I am to decide his fate. I know I shouldn't break my back for a child not willing to work, but if someone could only tell me how to gracefully sit back and watch my student fail, I might have an alternative. Until then, I shed tears for students that probably aren't even shedding tears for their own self-inflicted academic demise. After last week, a week in which I wrote not one, but 3 IEPS, and a meeting to accompany each, as well as a seminar and an observation by my supervisor, I was ready for this short week. If only I had known...
Another student, A, decided that last night was the perfect time to call me for help on a paper. When I did not pick up, she decided it was essential that she call 4 more times. After providing a few instructions late Sunday, I informed her that we would edit the rest tomorrow. So today, when she simply didn't feel like working, it was suddenly my fault that I did not help last night....funny that the blame conveniently seems to fall on everyone but the students. Of course being the intervention specialist, I am supposed to be the miracle worker. It must be a rude awakening for the students as I inform them that I will not work harder for them than they are willing to work for themselves. Until they grasp this concept, I except that I will continue to be frustrated and overwhelmed as I seek a balance of being their advocate and teacher, verses being an enabler of their bad habits. So today, on the evening of one of the longest school days of the year, I vow to be an advocate, not an enabler for the students that I have grown to love so much. What this means, I do not yet know, but only time can tell!
Tired and begging the week to end soon,
Ms. Phillips
Monday, October 25, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Mission In-Progress
Today, after a long day, per my usual routine when I'm overly tired, I began to clean. For some reason, namely the 1/2 pot of coffee I consumed, I decided bulletin boards were not in the most effective locations and that the modular was still too cluttered for its own good. I took matters into my own hands as I pulled out the necessary tools. My aid laughed as I climbed on desks and tables to perform the necessary tasks. She jokingly informed me that the teacher before simply called in her husband for chores such as this, at which point a laughed as I exclaimed, "I don't seem to have one of those" so I'm the next best thing! Thankfully, this mission was accomplished without any casualties.
The results of this spontaneous mission were two-fold. Not only is the modular more organized than ever before, but it also gave me a sense of empowerment. Having cleaned the modular from top to bottom, a process that has spanned several long months, I have watch the modular transform along with my confidence. Knowing that there will never come a time when I can say that I have perfected the art of teaching, I can confidently say that it is the journey, its ups and downs, that make the ride worth while.
The past few months have served as a not-so-gentle reminder that nothing comes easy and instant gratification is over-rated. I have labored many hours over students; hours for which I have yet to see the fruit of my labor in many cases. However, I am hopeful that, if nothing else, I am planting a seed that will one day grow into something strong and uniquely beautiful.
I have learned the power of my own strength. I am confident and now know that I am capable of much more than I ever imagined. There is nothing more powerful than realizing that your potential is even greater than your expectations. Several parents and teachers have commented that I am wise beyond my years, which, if true, is both a blessing and a curse. I believe that with hard work, I can reach my goals and then some. However, the curse is that the results I often expect to yield are that of a veteran teacher. I strive to continually remind myself that within a matter of nearly two months, though I have achieved so much, I have a long road ahead of me...a road that is forgiving of the occasional wrong turn, a road that invites detours, begs for adventure seekers, and thrives on putting the pedal to the metal. Thank God for seat belts!
Along for the ride,
Ms. Phillips
The results of this spontaneous mission were two-fold. Not only is the modular more organized than ever before, but it also gave me a sense of empowerment. Having cleaned the modular from top to bottom, a process that has spanned several long months, I have watch the modular transform along with my confidence. Knowing that there will never come a time when I can say that I have perfected the art of teaching, I can confidently say that it is the journey, its ups and downs, that make the ride worth while.
The past few months have served as a not-so-gentle reminder that nothing comes easy and instant gratification is over-rated. I have labored many hours over students; hours for which I have yet to see the fruit of my labor in many cases. However, I am hopeful that, if nothing else, I am planting a seed that will one day grow into something strong and uniquely beautiful.
I have learned the power of my own strength. I am confident and now know that I am capable of much more than I ever imagined. There is nothing more powerful than realizing that your potential is even greater than your expectations. Several parents and teachers have commented that I am wise beyond my years, which, if true, is both a blessing and a curse. I believe that with hard work, I can reach my goals and then some. However, the curse is that the results I often expect to yield are that of a veteran teacher. I strive to continually remind myself that within a matter of nearly two months, though I have achieved so much, I have a long road ahead of me...a road that is forgiving of the occasional wrong turn, a road that invites detours, begs for adventure seekers, and thrives on putting the pedal to the metal. Thank God for seat belts!
Along for the ride,
Ms. Phillips
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Notable Quotables
In case you're in need of comic relief:
~Me: "Why do you think this character is burnt "
Student: "........smokin marijuana...."
Correct answer: character was sun burnt while being on deserted island
~Me: "Boys, we are wasting cups, please bring in your own water bottles"
Student 1: "How do you know we aren't gonna fill it with vodka"
Me: "Well for one, wasn't born yesterday; secondly, I know what it smells like, and I'll make you pour out
the contents of the bottle before you enter my classroom."
Student 2: "Ms. Phillips, you know you did it when you were in high school..."
Me: Well, that's where you'd be wrong. I wasn't an idiot ...
~Me: Please write this problem on the board for me"
Student: Walks up to be board, picks up the marker, takes off the caps and inhales deeply, "mmmhhh"
Me: It's not appropriate to get high off of the dry erase markers...please sit down"
~Student C to Student D: Hey, D, can you throw me some mints
Student D: Digs hang into ceramic apple jar and pulls out handful of mints, then proceeds to quite literally
THROW a handful of mints at Student C
Me: D!!!! That is NOT appropriate....
Student D: Proceeds to gather several of the mints as he hurriedly shouts, "Oh, I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't
have given him so many."
~"Ms. Phillips....we had some good times haven't we?!"
Loads of laughter,
Ms. Phillips
~Me: "Why do you think this character is burnt "
Student: "........smokin marijuana...."
Correct answer: character was sun burnt while being on deserted island
~Me: "Boys, we are wasting cups, please bring in your own water bottles"
Student 1: "How do you know we aren't gonna fill it with vodka"
Me: "Well for one, wasn't born yesterday; secondly, I know what it smells like, and I'll make you pour out
the contents of the bottle before you enter my classroom."
Student 2: "Ms. Phillips, you know you did it when you were in high school..."
Me: Well, that's where you'd be wrong. I wasn't an idiot ...
~Me: Please write this problem on the board for me"
Student: Walks up to be board, picks up the marker, takes off the caps and inhales deeply, "mmmhhh"
Me: It's not appropriate to get high off of the dry erase markers...please sit down"
~Student C to Student D: Hey, D, can you throw me some mints
Student D: Digs hang into ceramic apple jar and pulls out handful of mints, then proceeds to quite literally
THROW a handful of mints at Student C
Me: D!!!! That is NOT appropriate....
Student D: Proceeds to gather several of the mints as he hurriedly shouts, "Oh, I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't
have given him so many."
~"Ms. Phillips....we had some good times haven't we?!"
Loads of laughter,
Ms. Phillips
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
"Can I have a Tissue for my Issues?"
I bid farewell to the past week which, as usual, had its fair share of ups and downs. As I welcomed in the weekend, I laughed and processed what I was about to do. I was about to chaperon homecoming, though not your typical awkward and inappropriate high school dance, I knew it would hold entertainment and awkwardness of its own.
I'm a sucker for sob stories, which explains why I pulled up to the dance with A in my passenger seat. Her mom had to work and all other rides had backed out...and so here we were. Together, we walked up to the fiesta themed celebration, greeted by pinatas, a bucking bull, an inflatable fighting pit, and best of all, a feast of delicious food. I encountered one student after the other, each encounter marked by a slight pause on behalf of both them and I. Just as the students couldn't believe that I actually existed outside of WCHS, I found it just as interesting to witness them in their "natural habitat".
I awkwardly walked around, enjoying taking everything in, yet wondering what to do as the only chaperon that had failed to being a date....I missed that memo. Thankfully the principal and vice principal's wives quickly befriended me, allowing the night to pass much quicker. The night ended with me awkwardly waiting for A to stop flirting long enough for me to stealth fully inform her that her chariot awaited, without ruining her end-of-the-night-convo with Mr. Right.
Saturday quickly faded into Monday and I waived goodbye to the weekend that had flown by so unnoticed. Monday, was Community Impact Day, a day on which all of WCHS goes out into the community to be servants to those in need. My students, my aid, another classroom teacher and his students, as well as myself and several parent volunteers caravaned to the Mid Ohio Foodbank. This was an event I had been looking forward to for weeks; a chance to serve along side of my students, while supporting a cause that was near and dear to my heart as well as my family's. What a blessing it proved to be as I watched the students work as team, free of complaints or arguments. They joyfully sorted bread into various categories in order to prepare it for the individuals that would soon come to rely on its substance for their next meal. 8,250 pounds of bread later, we cheered and breathed a sign of relief...mission accomplished!
God continues to teach me through my students. They were such gracious and willing servants. I was so proud of them and proud that my dad, my grandpa, and the entire foodbank staff was able to see the type of kids that I am blessed to be around. Though they have there moments of weakness, as do we all, they truly have hearts of gold.
Today, one student who has caused many headaches and concerns lately, was retaking a math quiz with K, my aid and life-line on any given day. This student has a habit if blurting out random sayings or even words uncontrollably as he works. All of a sudden, I hear "Can I have an tissue for all of my issues?!". As usual, his loud interruption was followed by an explanation of his sarcasm. Needless to say, I was in hysterics, feeling that this remark just about sums up my job. It is moments like this that make the landing a bit softer on those days that I fall down, a cusion that I know I will need as I brace myself for the hectic week and a half that await me, parent teacher conferences Thursday and Friday and 3 IEPS due next week. I can feel the sleepless nights already, but know that somehow, it always gets done.
Tired of tissues,
Ms. Phillips
I'm a sucker for sob stories, which explains why I pulled up to the dance with A in my passenger seat. Her mom had to work and all other rides had backed out...and so here we were. Together, we walked up to the fiesta themed celebration, greeted by pinatas, a bucking bull, an inflatable fighting pit, and best of all, a feast of delicious food. I encountered one student after the other, each encounter marked by a slight pause on behalf of both them and I. Just as the students couldn't believe that I actually existed outside of WCHS, I found it just as interesting to witness them in their "natural habitat".
I awkwardly walked around, enjoying taking everything in, yet wondering what to do as the only chaperon that had failed to being a date....I missed that memo. Thankfully the principal and vice principal's wives quickly befriended me, allowing the night to pass much quicker. The night ended with me awkwardly waiting for A to stop flirting long enough for me to stealth fully inform her that her chariot awaited, without ruining her end-of-the-night-convo with Mr. Right.
Saturday quickly faded into Monday and I waived goodbye to the weekend that had flown by so unnoticed. Monday, was Community Impact Day, a day on which all of WCHS goes out into the community to be servants to those in need. My students, my aid, another classroom teacher and his students, as well as myself and several parent volunteers caravaned to the Mid Ohio Foodbank. This was an event I had been looking forward to for weeks; a chance to serve along side of my students, while supporting a cause that was near and dear to my heart as well as my family's. What a blessing it proved to be as I watched the students work as team, free of complaints or arguments. They joyfully sorted bread into various categories in order to prepare it for the individuals that would soon come to rely on its substance for their next meal. 8,250 pounds of bread later, we cheered and breathed a sign of relief...mission accomplished!
God continues to teach me through my students. They were such gracious and willing servants. I was so proud of them and proud that my dad, my grandpa, and the entire foodbank staff was able to see the type of kids that I am blessed to be around. Though they have there moments of weakness, as do we all, they truly have hearts of gold.
Today, one student who has caused many headaches and concerns lately, was retaking a math quiz with K, my aid and life-line on any given day. This student has a habit if blurting out random sayings or even words uncontrollably as he works. All of a sudden, I hear "Can I have an tissue for all of my issues?!". As usual, his loud interruption was followed by an explanation of his sarcasm. Needless to say, I was in hysterics, feeling that this remark just about sums up my job. It is moments like this that make the landing a bit softer on those days that I fall down, a cusion that I know I will need as I brace myself for the hectic week and a half that await me, parent teacher conferences Thursday and Friday and 3 IEPS due next week. I can feel the sleepless nights already, but know that somehow, it always gets done.
Tired of tissues,
Ms. Phillips
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Fighting Fire
I can't help but laugh as I begin to recall a time when I updated this blog daily, a time when I felt that I had the luxury of sparing at least 25 minutes or more to process the events of the day, a time where I felt on top of the work load enough that I could express my creativity through the typing of a daily post rather than the binding legalities of typing an IEP. Who knew that a mere three letters could make one so anxious and stressed?! Today I had my second IEP meeting of the year...my third is Thursday....my fourth, fifth and sixth come within the next week and a half!
There is nothing like trial by fire. Some days I feel as if I have the blaze under control and that no wind storm or dry spell could shake me. Other days, most days, I feel as if I have my hands on the fire hose, clinging desperately for dear life as it takes me for a ride. Though no doubt a funny sight to be had, I fear that at any time, I'm going to lose my grip.
I want so desperately to be strides ahead of my kids in turns of planning; most days, I am lucky to be walking side by side, if not sprinting to keep up with their every move. I am still working on mastering the art of teaching 5 classes, writing an IEP (if not 2) a week, being familiar enough with all classes/ teachers in the school to help my students in their regular classes, and still maintaining a level of sleep and sanity that allows me to be the vibrant, passionate, consistent teacher that I long so badly to be.
As overwhelmed as I have been, today, A and I sat side-by-side editing one of her past-due papers; tears nearly filled my eyes from laughter. Something had mad us laugh so hard we both struggled for air. This sound, this laughter, this is what it is all about. The joyous noise echoed throughout the classroom, repelling the frustration, exhaustion, and anxieties that I had allowed to fill the air over the past week. I hope this is the tune my students are welcomed to as they enter through my door and that this tune is the one that will carry them through their often routine and mundane day. Lately, my heart has been heavy with the recent stories of teen violence, bullying, and suicide....how could it get so far, unnoticed. All I can do is pray that my students will never know that fear, hopelessness, or pain. Somehow, at the end of the day, whether they remember their times tables that I have drilled into them, or know the different between a linear and non-linear equation, or can recognise a noun from a verb...no matter what, I pray that they know more than anything that they are not alone, not a hopeless cause, not worthless, but loved by me, by their peers, and by a God that knows and loves them more than I could ever even hope to. If I succeed in this, I have to believe that God will take care of the rest.
On a lighter note...this week is spirit week, building up anticipation for homecoming this weekend. Tomorrow is neon day, so I must go lay out my outfit. Teal leggings, highlighter yellow shorts, bright pink shirt, and yellow sunglasses here I come!
Tired but hopeful,
Ms Phillips
There is nothing like trial by fire. Some days I feel as if I have the blaze under control and that no wind storm or dry spell could shake me. Other days, most days, I feel as if I have my hands on the fire hose, clinging desperately for dear life as it takes me for a ride. Though no doubt a funny sight to be had, I fear that at any time, I'm going to lose my grip.
I want so desperately to be strides ahead of my kids in turns of planning; most days, I am lucky to be walking side by side, if not sprinting to keep up with their every move. I am still working on mastering the art of teaching 5 classes, writing an IEP (if not 2) a week, being familiar enough with all classes/ teachers in the school to help my students in their regular classes, and still maintaining a level of sleep and sanity that allows me to be the vibrant, passionate, consistent teacher that I long so badly to be.
As overwhelmed as I have been, today, A and I sat side-by-side editing one of her past-due papers; tears nearly filled my eyes from laughter. Something had mad us laugh so hard we both struggled for air. This sound, this laughter, this is what it is all about. The joyous noise echoed throughout the classroom, repelling the frustration, exhaustion, and anxieties that I had allowed to fill the air over the past week. I hope this is the tune my students are welcomed to as they enter through my door and that this tune is the one that will carry them through their often routine and mundane day. Lately, my heart has been heavy with the recent stories of teen violence, bullying, and suicide....how could it get so far, unnoticed. All I can do is pray that my students will never know that fear, hopelessness, or pain. Somehow, at the end of the day, whether they remember their times tables that I have drilled into them, or know the different between a linear and non-linear equation, or can recognise a noun from a verb...no matter what, I pray that they know more than anything that they are not alone, not a hopeless cause, not worthless, but loved by me, by their peers, and by a God that knows and loves them more than I could ever even hope to. If I succeed in this, I have to believe that God will take care of the rest.
On a lighter note...this week is spirit week, building up anticipation for homecoming this weekend. Tomorrow is neon day, so I must go lay out my outfit. Teal leggings, highlighter yellow shorts, bright pink shirt, and yellow sunglasses here I come!
Tired but hopeful,
Ms Phillips
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