Notable Quotables

In case you're in need of comic relief:

~Me: "Why do you think this character is burnt "
  Student: "........smokin marijuana...."
  Correct answer: character was sun burnt while being on deserted island

~Me: "Boys, we are wasting cups, please bring in your own water bottles"
  Student 1: "How do you know we aren't gonna fill it with vodka"
  Me:  "Well for one, wasn't born yesterday; secondly, I know what it smells like, and I'll make you pour out 
           the contents of the bottle before you enter my classroom."
  Student 2: "Ms. Phillips, you know you did it when you were in high school..."
  Me: Well, that's where you'd be wrong. I wasn't an idiot ...

~Me: Please write this problem on the board for me"
  Student:  Walks up to be board, picks up the marker, takes off the caps and inhales deeply, "mmmhhh"
  Me: It's not appropriate to get high off of the dry erase markers...please sit down"

~Student C to Student D:  Hey, D, can you throw me some mints
  Student D:  Digs hang into ceramic apple jar and pulls out handful of mints, then proceeds to quite literally
                   THROW a handful of mints at Student C
  Me:    D!!!!  That is NOT appropriate....
  Student D: Proceeds to gather several of the mints as he hurriedly shouts, "Oh, I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't
                   have given him so many."

~"Ms. Phillips....we had some good times haven't we?!"

Loads of laughter,
Ms. Phillips