Who knew that I could both love AND hate the idea of winter break. As a first year teacher, I have never appreciated the dismissal bell more than I did on December 22 at 3pm. I was not far behind the students, as ready as they were to begining the extended hiatus from what had proved to be the most challenging season of my life.
2 WEEKS! At the time, it seemed like eternity. I swore that I would not fill my schedule but rather relax and spend as much time as possible lounging in my PJ's and reuniting with my couch and some of my favorite sitcoms. Though I did manage to do my share of lounging, I found that my social calendar filled up a bit quicker than I had planned. I was reminded of the importance of taking the time to catch up with old friends. I rediscovered my love for working out, getting coffee with friends, experimental baking, watching movies, sleeping in, and road trips. I have also recently decided, after a semester of stress and questioning what I want to be when I grow up (yes yes, I do love teaching, but my mind wonders, especially these days), that I would LOVE to start my own bakery business on the side of teaching. I have so much fun baking cupcakes, cakes, cookies...so maybe one day, when I have a spare second ; ) I will figure out how I can make this plan a reality!
Today, though I woke up confused, I was quickly jolted into the obvious reality that was my old routine. Once I got to school though, I didn't have time to dwell on my heartache due to the loss of free time. Don't tell, but I actually missed my kids. Their humor never ceases to amaze, shock, and sometimes even leave me speechless.
I spent the majority of my day working with staff and kids in order to organize their schedules for the upcoming semester. Currently, I am teaching 3 English classes, 2 math classes (in the same period...at the same time), and 4 periods of tutoring, and NO planning period. I told myself that I could make this work. However, after a semester of working 11-12 hour days only to go home and do more work, and still feeling like I wasn't doing good enough, or even ENOUGH period....I decided to teach myself how to say NO.....gasp! It required some moving around, and a realization that A (the student that single handedly makes me earn my keep) was probably not going to be pleased with me for ruining her seemingly perfect schedule. However, I have never been more proud of myself.
I have realized that I can't serve the students best unless I am at my best. I can promise that I am NOT at my best when I am up all night trying to plan what in the world I am doing the next day, nor am I at my best when I am scrambling prior to class to pull together a game plan. Being the perfectionist that I am, I am relieved, thrilled, and thankful that I will now have at least 40 minutes of time in the school day to actually plan...what a foreign concept. So despite the fact that I am still in denial that break is over, I am reminded to celebrate the little victories!!!
Sighing a HUGE sigh of relief,
Ms. Phillips
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