So as I write, I am propping my feet up for the first time all day. In fact, for the first moment all day I am not doing school work...technically. This morning I was overly optimistic and decided to work out before school, thinking it would energize me for the day. As it turns out, I was only partially correct; two cups of coffee and several periods later, my exhaustion resurfaced.
I have learned that snow truly isn't as much a teacher's best friend as it is a student's. Last week, as the heavy snow began to fall, I quickly realized I was in trouble. Within a matter of 3 hours we received approximately 3 inches of snow, yet classes remained in session. I used to have an great appreciation for snow globes...no longer is this so. After spending the afternoon in what I refer to as a life-size snow globe, also lovingly referred to as the modular, the mod., the trailer, the van, and most favorably, my classroom, I swore to make best friends with our new governor. When I forge this friendship, I will be sure to ask him to come observe my classroom in the middle of such a blizzard. As it turns out, placing a group of students with ADD/ADHD in a room surrounded by windows in the middle of a white-out is a form of slow and steady torture. Not to worry, enough mass chaos ensued that parents began to call into the school, pulling their kids out of classrooms. By my last two periods, I was all alone in my life-size snow globe.
Last week we waived goodbye to the first semester and Tuesday we welcomed a fresh new start. As I embraced the thought that 1/2 of my first year of teaching was behind me, I felt the need to assess progress. I asked each of my classes to complete a course evaluation. Though I had discouraged the writing of typical requests such as "no homework", "no tests", etc., I was not surprised to find humorous remarks. One student expressed his wish that we not "do grammer". The irony of his spelling was almost as amusing as the fact that his response to the question regarding what seemed to be working for him was also "grammer". As it turns out...grammar isn't our only downfall. I was thankful for the honesty, insight fullness, and most of all, the entertainment that these evaluations provided.
I must admit that I am still facing a daily battle; a battle in which I am my own worst enemy. I am my toughest critic, constantly aware of what I did not get done or what I am falling short on. I never feel as if I am doing all that I can do. Staying until 6pm only to go home and do more work, many days, has proved exhausting. I would hope that with so much time logged, at the end of the day, I could say that I have done enough, but I have not found it easy, or even possible, to say such a thing. I try to force myself to recognize the difference between ENOUGH, and BEST. Though I may not BE the best, I am GIVING my best, my all, which in itself has to be enough. This is my mantra right now, or so it needs to be.
My continued goal is to focus on "the little victories" as I like to call them.
Little victory of the day: I have decided to offer a weekly after school OGT (Ohio Graduation Test) review session, every Wednesday from now until the March test. I will be available, students my make an effort and come to me....they have to meet me half way. As they know, I will not spoon-feed them, but hope to merely lead them to the source. This has never been done in such a manner in the special ed. program and I am excited for this new initiative...I hope it proves to be a successful way to prepare my students for the beast that we have come to know as the standardized test.
BEST wishes,
Ms. Phillips
No comments:
Post a Comment