Let me start by saying, I'm not a caffeine drinker, really! That being said, yesterday I gave into coffee and today I succumbed to not one, but two cans of pop. This is collectively more than I have had in the past 6 months. What can I say?! It somehow keeps me from completely hitting a wall and diverts my headaches from turning straight into migraines.
The results are in...the quiz scores were less than ideal. Let's just say there is plenty of room for improvement...if you are the glass 1/2 full type, as I certainly try to be. I'm finding that to be a challenge, some days more than others! After being upset for a while, I reminded myself of several things; I am still getting a feel for the kids and their current levels, this was the first quiz, and lastly, I am working with kids that have very little retention. Which leads to my next concern....how am I going to teach anything that will stick for more than a day. I want so much for what I say to weasel its way into their long-term memories....if only this weren't so hard. I am racking my brain for ways to get through to these kids in a lasting way.
Today I realized that even I was bored with hearing about nouns and pronouns over and over. On the spot, I threw out my lesson plans. I asked the kids to stand up, and to come outside with me. With shocked and confused looks, they followed. We went outside, stood in a circle, and threw a ball spontaneously from one person to another, shouting out whatever part of speech definition or example I requested. Their faces lit up, and they responded...they loved it, and so did I! After a long review, we went back into the class to wrap up. As I asked review questions, I realized that they had already begun to confuse the topics, yet again. My hopes we DASHED. We had just spent 25 minutes making such a connection not only to one another, but to the content...and now what?! This is going to be exhausting coming up with constant and yet practical ways to make each lesson come alive for these boys. Don't get me wrong, the creative demand of being a teacher is a challenge that I find great joy in rising to daily. However, I have yet to determine how it is possible to plan for 5 separate classes in a way that truly engages each student, rather than begs them to complete worksheets or book work, as so many do. These methods have their place, I am quite aware, but my kids don't learn this way. Not only must I plan for 5 classes and many unique kids, but I have to write 15 IEPs throughout the year and do quarterly progress reports for each student. Whoever invented the legality aspect of my job is one of my few enemies on this Earth, end of my pity party and end of story.
So today, I was reminded that God really knew what he was doing when he placed me at WCHS. As crazy as things are, I am convinced that there is something so pure and wonderful about the relationships I am building already; namely my relationship with A. She tells me anything and everything now, and I give her the same honesty back, which is why we work so well together. We both call it as we see it. There is such a truth in that, a respect, and an understanding that is both unspoken and also unbelievable. Tomorrow the kids will be on retreat, and I will stay back to get work done. Today, A asked if prior to leaving tomorrow, she could bring her friends to meet me. It took me a moment to gather the thoughts as I realized what was happening; Have I really earned her trust enough that she wants her best friends to meet her teacher, her special ed. teacher?! The trust we have built seems to be strong enough to break down the wall that the stigma of special ed. has built up around her. Rather than sleep in tomorrow, the one day I could, I will happily arrive at the same time as I do every day, waiting for the what is bound to be the highlight of my classroom day. Tomorrow, I will celebrate a little victory that makes each of the daily battles worth the fighting!
Anticipating Dress-down-day,
Ms. Phillips
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